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[ferrisbuellean]

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[ferrisbuellean]

[That's enough to startle even the most apathetic of people, and it gets Jeff jumping just slightly out of his seat. Teleportation shouldn't be a real thing.]

Jeez, don't you knock?!

[angelfire]

Knock? It's a bit Guns and Roses isn't it?

[ Lucifer came closer, dropping his hands back into his pockets. ]

You should pick that up.

[ferrisbuellean]

[He'd barely even registered the ring tossed in his lap until it's pointed out, but then he's staring down at it, considering his options for a second before reaching for it.]

So, is this gonna pawn at a good price?

[angelfire]

[ Lucifer perches on the arm of the couch lazily. ]

I suppose you could try auctioning it off--you'll have offers. But give it a try first; I guarantee you'll enjoy it. I know you will. I know you, Jeff Winger.

[ferrisbuellean]

[The ring gets turned between his fingers for a moment, observed. It doesn't take much persuasion for him to try it on though, slipping it onto his index finger and finding it to be a rather comfortable fit. He doesn't usually do jewellery but this could be an exception.]

Yeah? Well, congrats. But bullcrap, not even my therapists know me.

[angelfire]

How do you think I know the sinners from all the rest? I can see inside your soul--even therapists can't do that. Besides, therapists try and make people better, but I happen to like you exactly as you are. Isn't that refreshing?

[ He cocked his head toward Jeff. ] So how are your ratings?

[ferrisbuellean]

Touching. [And it sort of is. His study group liked him for who he is, after all, and they were good people. Sort of.]

Passable. I'm working on it. No better than yours, I bet.1

[angelfire]

Oh, I don't know. They liked last week's edition. ImPorts playing dress up, really sexy genuinely French muskateers? Men in tights. You have to love it.

I missed you, if you were there. Tell me you dressed appropriately.

[ferrisbuellean]

Nope, too much of a nerdfest for me. I had places to be. Women to lay. I'm not gonna spend my time with a bunch of weirdly dressed neckbeards.

[Which isn't entirely true. But he wasn't there long, kthx.]

I bet it gave you a boner for the good ol' days, right? Where plagues ran rife and humans knew their place?

[angelfire]

Eh--there's only so many times you can hear 'I cast thee out, Satan!' before it gets old. And I mean, the Internet, Metallica. I like the world better as it is.

But all that God, King and Glory stuff is adorable. [ He tapped his nose with one finger. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

Yeeeah, the lack of internet would pretty much suck. See, this is why I had no interest in reliving a time I wouldn't wanna be in. Plus I was already registered so why bother going just to see a bunch of newbies go through the same process?

[Always about him. Forever.]

[angelfire]

Well, like I said. Ratings. You may not like the free food and live jousting, but it makes great TV.

Like bikini beach volleyball, cat videos, and minor celebrities humiliating themselves. [ He lazes on the edge of the couch ] The last one is where it's at. [ That's a hint, Jeff. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Narrowing his eyes in thought. Give him a second.]

Like minor celebrities making a scene on public TV? Huh. Do you count in that category?

[angelfire]

[ God, Jeff. ]

I'm not likely to give you a power ring that works on me, now, am I?

[ferrisbuellean]

You might. Does it work on me if I'm wearing it?

[angelfire]

It wouldn't be much good if it did, now, would it? You need a clear head to cause the most chaos possible, after all, don't you?

[ferrisbuellean]

[Idly toying with the ring around his finger, still not entirely convinced.]

Whatever you say, Lord of Dorkness.

[angelfire]

Come on, Jeffrey. When have I ever let you down?

[ So convincing. Also here, have a beer. Don't ask where he got it from, he probably stole it while Jeff blinked. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Well, it's alcohol. He can't really turn it down. So long as it comes with no contract.]

Uh, plenty of times? I'm pretty sure you're renowned for letting the human race down. Or is that all Bible Thumping propaganda?

[Beer sip.]

[angelfire]

The human race lets itself down. It's like--it's like homework. God sets it. Be good to your fellow man, reproduce and be plentiful, and I'm the guy saying 'Come on, college is for partying, C is a passing grade anyway.'

So hey, call it letting you down, but you're having the time of your lives, and that's on me.

[ He's pretty good at Winger speeches himself. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Clearly Jeff learnt his Winger speeches from the best. Or maybe Lucifer learnt them from the best. Which came first, the Winger speech or the Winger?!]

What about wasps? You're not gonna tell me assholes like that didn't have your involvement?

[angelfire]

[ A tip of his head. ]

God's way of saying 'lay off all the sugary treats.' and 'Don't have sex in the garden if you don't want your netherbits stung.'

[ferrisbuellean]

God's way of saying 'never go outside in the summer'.

[Beer sip.]

I'm sure I'll think of some way that you let me down soon enough.

[angelfire]

Oh, I'm sure you will. That's what I like about you, Winger, you never give up until you're right.

[ He reached across, patting Jeff's knee, then came back up to his feet. ]

We'll speak again later. Don't have too much fun without me, will you?

[ferrisbuellean]

That's because I'm always right.

[So he gets a visit from the Devil and all he gets is a lousy ring and some beer? Well, he probably got off lightly. Whatever. He knows it's because he's the favourite.]

I'll try to contain myself. Maybe I'll see you around once we start trying to get these ratings, huh? [A little lift of the ring-bearing hand.]