Eh--there's only so many times you can hear 'I cast thee out, Satan!' before it gets old. And I mean, the Internet, Metallica. I like the world better as it is.
But all that God, King and Glory stuff is adorable. [ He tapped his nose with one finger. ]
Yeeeah, the lack of internet would pretty much suck. See, this is why I had no interest in reliving a time I wouldn't wanna be in. Plus I was already registered so why bother going just to see a bunch of newbies go through the same process?
Well, like I said. Ratings. You may not like the free food and live jousting, but it makes great TV.
Like bikini beach volleyball, cat videos, and minor celebrities humiliating themselves. [ He lazes on the edge of the couch ] The last one is where it's at. [ That's a hint, Jeff. ]
The human race lets itself down. It's like--it's like homework. God sets it. Be good to your fellow man, reproduce and be plentiful, and I'm the guy saying 'Come on, college is for partying, C is a passing grade anyway.'
So hey, call it letting you down, but you're having the time of your lives, and that's on me.
[Clearly Jeff learnt his Winger speeches from the best. Or maybe Lucifer learnt them from the best. Which came first, the Winger speech or the Winger?!]
What about wasps? You're not gonna tell me assholes like that didn't have your involvement?
[So he gets a visit from the Devil and all he gets is a lousy ring and some beer? Well, he probably got off lightly. Whatever. He knows it's because he's the favourite.]
I'll try to contain myself. Maybe I'll see you around once we start trying to get these ratings, huh? [A little lift of the ring-bearing hand.]
[ Definitely got off lightly. He didn't draw blood magic on Jeff's hand or anything. Didn't even give him a big kiss. A beer is much more of a reasonable benchmark for buddies, honestly, and do you really want the Devil to be more than that? Really?
Come on, Jeff, know your limits. ]
Maybe we'll get called in for an interview together. Good Morning America! [ He punched the air, and vanished in a whoosh of feathers. ]
[Fine! He's okay with keeping the devil at arms distance if he can. Keep close but not too close. He's got this.
And there goes that dude, leaving Jeff with beer and a ring, one that he's still toying with idly. It's a nice ring. He really should keep it. What's the harm in one ring? Except in LotR but whatever he never saw the end of that because it lasted way too long for his attention span.
This is his ring now, anyway. My precious-- no, wrong canon.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-05-28 10:03 pm (UTC)But all that God, King and Glory stuff is adorable. [ He tapped his nose with one finger. ]
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Date: 2015-05-28 10:07 pm (UTC)[Always about him. Forever.]
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Date: 2015-05-28 10:16 pm (UTC)Like bikini beach volleyball, cat videos, and minor celebrities humiliating themselves. [ He lazes on the edge of the couch ] The last one is where it's at. [ That's a hint, Jeff. ]
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Date: 2015-05-28 10:22 pm (UTC)Like minor celebrities making a scene on public TV? Huh. Do you count in that category?
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Date: 2015-05-28 10:48 pm (UTC)I'm not likely to give you a power ring that works on me, now, am I?
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Date: 2015-05-28 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-28 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-05-28 11:01 pm (UTC)Whatever you say, Lord of Dorkness.
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Date: 2015-05-28 11:44 pm (UTC)[ So convincing. Also here, have a beer. Don't ask where he got it from, he probably stole it while Jeff blinked. ]
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Date: 2015-05-29 04:54 pm (UTC)Uh, plenty of times? I'm pretty sure you're renowned for letting the human race down. Or is that all Bible Thumping propaganda?
[Beer sip.]
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Date: 2015-05-29 10:13 pm (UTC)So hey, call it letting you down, but you're having the time of your lives, and that's on me.
[ He's pretty good at Winger speeches himself. ]
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Date: 2015-05-29 10:41 pm (UTC)What about wasps? You're not gonna tell me assholes like that didn't have your involvement?
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Date: 2015-05-29 11:09 pm (UTC)God's way of saying 'lay off all the sugary treats.' and 'Don't have sex in the garden if you don't want your netherbits stung.'
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Date: 2015-05-29 11:16 pm (UTC)[Beer sip.]
I'm sure I'll think of some way that you let me down soon enough.
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Date: 2015-05-29 11:32 pm (UTC)[ He reached across, patting Jeff's knee, then came back up to his feet. ]
We'll speak again later. Don't have too much fun without me, will you?
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Date: 2015-05-30 05:52 pm (UTC)[So he gets a visit from the Devil and all he gets is a lousy ring and some beer? Well, he probably got off lightly. Whatever. He knows it's because he's the favourite.]
I'll try to contain myself. Maybe I'll see you around once we start trying to get these ratings, huh? [A little lift of the ring-bearing hand.]
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Date: 2015-05-31 02:29 pm (UTC)Come on, Jeff, know your limits. ]
Maybe we'll get called in for an interview together. Good Morning America! [ He punched the air, and vanished in a whoosh of feathers. ]
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Date: 2015-05-31 05:52 pm (UTC)And there goes that dude, leaving Jeff with beer and a ring, one that he's still toying with idly. It's a nice ring. He really should keep it. What's the harm in one ring? Except in LotR but whatever he never saw the end of that because it lasted way too long for his attention span.
This is his ring now, anyway. My precious-- no, wrong canon.]