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[ferrisbuellean]

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[angelfire]

Damn, you caught me.

I want to give you a ring. A magic ring. Like the One Ring, only much better.

[ferrisbuellean]

You want to give me a magical ring?

[angelfire]

It's not really optional.

Come on, part of you is curious what a magical ring might do.

[ferrisbuellean]

Will it make me ridiculously irresistible to women? Oh wait, I already am.

Seriously, you can't improve this. But, if you really want to bestow me with a gift, I'll allow it.

[Blanking the bit about it not being optional. Jeff gets to decide all things.]

[angelfire]

Well it's more at everyone else's expense. A gimmick for your show. A magical ring that makes the people around you bicker with each other about the damndest things.

[ferrisbuellean]

So it gives an added bit of drama? I guess I could make that work...

But why?

[angelfire]

Because it makes good TV, of course. A plug for you, a plug for me, and we all profit.

[ferrisbuellean]

Only if I get most the footage and most the ratings.

[angelfire]

[ Guess who's in your living room. Sorry Jeff, buddy. He juggled the ring from one hand to the other, then flicked it with his thumb into Jeff's lap. ]

I wouldn't dream of poaching your ratings. We're bestest buddies, after all.

[ferrisbuellean]

[That's enough to startle even the most apathetic of people, and it gets Jeff jumping just slightly out of his seat. Teleportation shouldn't be a real thing.]

Jeez, don't you knock?!

[angelfire]

Knock? It's a bit Guns and Roses isn't it?

[ Lucifer came closer, dropping his hands back into his pockets. ]

You should pick that up.

[ferrisbuellean]

[He'd barely even registered the ring tossed in his lap until it's pointed out, but then he's staring down at it, considering his options for a second before reaching for it.]

So, is this gonna pawn at a good price?

[angelfire]

[ Lucifer perches on the arm of the couch lazily. ]

I suppose you could try auctioning it off--you'll have offers. But give it a try first; I guarantee you'll enjoy it. I know you will. I know you, Jeff Winger.

[ferrisbuellean]

[The ring gets turned between his fingers for a moment, observed. It doesn't take much persuasion for him to try it on though, slipping it onto his index finger and finding it to be a rather comfortable fit. He doesn't usually do jewellery but this could be an exception.]

Yeah? Well, congrats. But bullcrap, not even my therapists know me.

[angelfire]

How do you think I know the sinners from all the rest? I can see inside your soul--even therapists can't do that. Besides, therapists try and make people better, but I happen to like you exactly as you are. Isn't that refreshing?

[ He cocked his head toward Jeff. ] So how are your ratings?

[ferrisbuellean]

Touching. [And it sort of is. His study group liked him for who he is, after all, and they were good people. Sort of.]

Passable. I'm working on it. No better than yours, I bet.1

[angelfire]

Oh, I don't know. They liked last week's edition. ImPorts playing dress up, really sexy genuinely French muskateers? Men in tights. You have to love it.

I missed you, if you were there. Tell me you dressed appropriately.

[ferrisbuellean]

Nope, too much of a nerdfest for me. I had places to be. Women to lay. I'm not gonna spend my time with a bunch of weirdly dressed neckbeards.

[Which isn't entirely true. But he wasn't there long, kthx.]

I bet it gave you a boner for the good ol' days, right? Where plagues ran rife and humans knew their place?

[angelfire]

Eh--there's only so many times you can hear 'I cast thee out, Satan!' before it gets old. And I mean, the Internet, Metallica. I like the world better as it is.

But all that God, King and Glory stuff is adorable. [ He tapped his nose with one finger. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

Yeeeah, the lack of internet would pretty much suck. See, this is why I had no interest in reliving a time I wouldn't wanna be in. Plus I was already registered so why bother going just to see a bunch of newbies go through the same process?

[Always about him. Forever.]

[angelfire]

Well, like I said. Ratings. You may not like the free food and live jousting, but it makes great TV.

Like bikini beach volleyball, cat videos, and minor celebrities humiliating themselves. [ He lazes on the edge of the couch ] The last one is where it's at. [ That's a hint, Jeff. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Narrowing his eyes in thought. Give him a second.]

Like minor celebrities making a scene on public TV? Huh. Do you count in that category?

[angelfire]

[ God, Jeff. ]

I'm not likely to give you a power ring that works on me, now, am I?

[ferrisbuellean]

You might. Does it work on me if I'm wearing it?

[angelfire]

It wouldn't be much good if it did, now, would it? You need a clear head to cause the most chaos possible, after all, don't you?