ferrisbuellean | IC CONTACT

And here I've just been using a hairbrush.

[LIES he uses nothing, he has no idea what proper haircare means, it is a mystery]

Speaking of friends have you met many people yet? You could bring someone as a +1, if you wanted.

[he means ladies.]

I'd rather come alone.

That works, too. Which bar are you in so I can find you without using illegal means, btw?

The one with boobs and scotch. It's pretty much the best bar ever.

[Pretty much drunk already, srry.]

I'll look for the scotch signal, in that case.

[HE IS NOT LOOKING AT BOOBS HE'S GOING TO GET MARRIED IN A WEEK JEFF CAN U NOT]

Amber. It's called Amber. Are there gonna be other people at this party? Will I be forced to mingle? Do I have to pretend to be interested in other peoples lives?

Amber is the bar or the boobs in your face? You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Neither of us pretend to be interested in other people's lives. It would be unfair to expect that of you.

Nah. I think her name was Chrystalllll. Idk how many Ls is accurate, was more interested in the boobs. Ok cool. I'll be there but if I choose to get drunk and fall asleep on your couch you can't judge me.

We have a guest room with beds you're free to fall asleep in so you don't wake up with a crick in your neck.

[Wrap himself up in a blanket of cheese and lettuce and be at peace.]