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[ferrisbuellean]

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[infomodder]

[~Tell Me Something Good About Me~ - Jeff Winger/Will Graham - 1,306 words - Update coming soon!!! r&r plz!

Scoff away, Jeff! That only serves to make Will's assessment of Jeff feel a thousand times more valid. Jeff's never struck him as humble...except when it comes to emotions. The whole world should know that Jeff Winger is a super hot stallion ready for the laydees, and that he's a boss ass lawyer, he's just sp totally awesome. But the world doesn't need to know he's on their level in the way that he also suffers from betrayal or loss, that he feels things other than the more positive (and narcissistic) set of emotions. That he feels a need to belong with someone, somewhere, to connect and share...that he's just like everyone else. No sir, nobody needs to know that, and far be it from Will to be blunter about it all. Better to just look down and think, absorbed in his own negative emotions for a moment.]

I would've looked worse if I apologized. [So the latter, sort of. Will's job is basically "be really really wrong until he's completely right," he is not unfamiliar with being in the wrong, or wrong about people and things. He's not unable to admit when he's fucked up, but when faced with accusations that he's making a person his victim, especially when that person is one of the only two from home he has around? It gets stickier. An apology, however sincere, could have been seen as an attempt at regaining control, or borderline abusive, and hell if he wanted to veer the sinking ship into those murky waters.] Stubborn asses is fitting, though. I just happened to be the bigger ass this time around, I guess.

[Where is a tiny violin for the shadowstag to play when it's needed.]

[ferrisbuellean]

[The world never needs to know that he's on the same level as them. He doesn't want people to see his weaknesses and vulnerabilities. There would be nothing worse than those being laid out for the world to see, and it's why he's so very careful around his camera crew, and why he gets so easily wound up the second a flaw starts to rear it's head for others to see. Jeff spent the better part of his childhood learning to become an uncaring, egotistical little shit and that's a hard act to drop after so many years of playing it.

He's learnt to at least pretend he cares enough to tolerate Will's presence and sulking and drunken self-pity. But maybe it's not pretend. Maybe he does actually care, and that thought scares him more than any shadow stag or creepy guys at his window ever could.]

So I take it this isn't the first time you and this mystery person has had a falling out. [The 'this time around' gave it away, or at least that's his interpretation of it all.] You must like them, right? Otherwise this wouldn't bother you so much. Do they know how important they are to you? You ever mention that sort of stuff?

[Jeff never does and then he misses what he's lost, all because he refused to discuss feelings.]

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[Don't be afraid of caring, Jeff. Will is here to care way more than anyone ever should and be scared while he does so. Whenever the tingle of concern for another human being strikes fear in your heart, just go bug Will. He'll absorb that and have weird nightmares and no one will be any worse for it. What a pal. A scary, carey pal.

But, oh, what a question that is. Slew of questions, really. The furrowed brow Jeff's (accurate) guess draws out morphs as he smiles. An oddly fond smile for another human being who doesn't happen to be April, someone who isn't a talking dog...not the first time he and this mystery person had issues, no, and despite those issues, Will found them a source of stability for all the hassle. Jeff's accuracy doesn't grate or worry, either—he appreciates it. Guy might act like an overgrown frat boy from time to time, but he can't hide that he has a brain in him, too. Will can relate.]

Not in as many words, but we've gone through enough together that they have to realize it. [He took care of the Abel Gideon mess instead of making it worse, doesn't that prove...well, something of his loyalty? He invited him for Easter! He made dinner, he made sure their home was tidier, he let him into his life here! He went back to therapy, doesn't that say everything? Although perhaps that's a bit of Hannibal's hold on him—saying things without being completely direct. Only that leads to ruin. With Will it...shit, well, leads to the same thing, too, perhaps? In this case, at least. And as he says it out loud, he thinks maybe he's putting some of the dish together, the meat within the meat. He looks away from Jeff and back to the drink.] Sounds like that's a big problem, huh? You cracked the case.

[Ha ha, FBI bloodhound humor.]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Will can care enough for the both of them, because if Jeff cares too much his heart might explode, and then Will would be left trying to explain to the cops why there's a dead guy in a house full of children after Will had snuck in the window with a shadow Bambi.

Anyway, the smiling is slightly weird, but something he can work with. He supposes Will smiling is a thing that's allowed, but in the context of falling out with someone enough to want to get drunk and climb through windows, Jeff would say happiness isn't a thing that should be felt. Unless he really is just that good at uplifting people with his speeches that he now doesn't even have to make the speech in the first place. Maybe a bunch of questions is enough.]

Yup. That's me. Solving all the problems like a good little lawyer. Guess you've got nothing to worry about now, huh? [The smallest of smiles forced in return, almost hopeful like just maybe everything has been fixed and now Will isn't going to be sad any more. Friends make friends happy, right? That's a thing that happens, or so he's been led to believe in the short five years of him actually having friends. In the grand scheme of things it's not a long time, and Jeff's really still in the infantile stages of friendship, the sort of lessons most learn in playgroup where he's just realised that sharing is kind of okay and punching someone in the face to steal their crayons is not acceptable behaviour.]

Maybe tell them you're an asshole too. People love it when you can admit that.

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[To be fair, they're good questions. No prying about his mother, his father, what sort of childhood he had in order to make him the stubborn asshole is he today. They prod at his emotions, true, but not in a way that's malicious, insidious. Jeff Winger is not a psychiatrist, either, so that works in his favor. Will had an awesome lawyer after he fired a bunch of duds, too, perhaps that comes into play on some level he doesn't want to think about very much.

Just like he doubts Jeff wants to think very much about what he just said. How Jeff claims to be asshole but later goes onto say that people love a person who can admit that about themselves. Surely that's not tied into anything, not at all. Surely Jeff's attempts at isolation while being willing to admit his terrible flaw as an asshole aren't in direct conflict with each other. Surely Jeff isn't subtly hinting that while he might act like he's 100% okay playing the lone wolf game, he really does feel the urge to be loved. That he's human.

Not Jeff Winger. And in the case of Will Graham, who reads between the lines too much sometimes not enough at others...he files this away without bringing it to light.]

I can do that. Maybe in different wording, but...you're right. [He is slowly becoming one with Jeff's couch. Leave him here, he's fine.] Thanks for [opening the window, letting him in (in more ways than one), listening, caring? Oh no.] everything.

[ferrisbuellean]

[It's definitely for the best that Will keeps his mouth shut on the whole situation he's read into this. Jeff's spent a lifetime building walls and learning to live alone and work alone and depend on his self. The fact that even he craves affection and attention just like the rest of humanity shouldn't factor into it. He wants to be loved, sure, but he doesn't want people picking up on that fact. If people like Will start dredging up his deep, dark desires, then surely it means his bitter, asshole hipster act is all pointless? It doesn't bear thinking about. Best to just keep with the totally cool and not in need of friends act and just hope no one catches on.

Will knows how to keep Jeff happy though, and he even drags a smile from him at the simple words 'you're right'. Yeah. Of course Jeff is right. He's always right. He makes a career out of being right even when he's completely wrong.]

Just drink your scotch and never mention it again. [OR ELSE. Mention of his kindness can never be spoken about. Although just quickly...] You can sleep on the couch. If you want.

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[OR ELSE.

Will shifts enough to withdraw his communicator and slide it onto the coffee table. His movements are a bit slower than usual, thanks to the scotch, but it's his silent agreement that yes. He will accept this offer. He will crash his adorable Teddy Graham self on Jeff's couch, thank you kindly. Perhaps Jeff will wake up to find Will still knocked out on it. Perhaps he'll wake up to find him gone and the spot cleaned up like no one had sat on it in days. Could go either way. But if Jeff finds him making any dumb faces or decides to cover his face with dicks ejaculating in his nostrils, there is Will's communicator. He better send April some pics of her husband covered in dicks, Goddamnit.]

You got it.

[Pint-sized terror Bambi takes one last look at Jeff before Will's shadow attaches to him once more, doing his best to keep a smile off his face and his eyes off Jeff. Just gonna down his scotch, eventually kick his shoes off, and sleep over like the wayward cousin who can't go home right now, come on, one night, guys please.]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Jeff's oddly okay with this loveable hobo crashing at his place, because that warm fuzzy and ridiculously gross feeling of friendship is forming. Friends are people you accept for who they are, and they're people you let crash on your couch even if they dragged themselves through your window and got drunk and woeful. This is something that normal people do for one another and Jeff is all for pretending to be normal, even if it's just for one night.]

There's food if you need it. [Vague gesture to a tiny fridge in the corner where he keeps the essentials rather than stash them in the public area. It's mostly full of veggies, fruits and eggs, but Will might be able to dig up something else if he gets the need for breakfast in the morning.

But now is a time for shutting down and sleeping, and if Will wants to curl up on the couch, Jeff's quite happy to retreat to his bed nearby, even if he will stay up half the night on his communicator. And maybe taking some comical photos of a snoozing Will. And maybe, just maybe, throw the poor guy a blanket before the night is through.

Such bros. Much sleep. Many snores.]