ferrisbuellean | IC CONTACT

[So this is guy talk, huh. Social recluse Will Graham has never...

Okay, that's a big fat lie. Growing up with a dad who worked in boatyards means that Will has gotten to hear some shit over the years, of all sorts. Jeff's distance isn't necessarily a bad thing, either. As long as everyone involved wants to be there and comes to a fine ending, that's what really matters with one night stands, isn't it? And leave it to Will Graham to pick up on what could be taken as odd (his concern, what, like Will is actually invested in Jeff's sexual escapades, bro you are married?) and let it slide right off without ever bringing it light. He'll keep it that way if he can, doesn't furrow his brow or frown at the wording, doesn't react like no, no, you have it all wrong, Jeff!]

I'm sure they appreciate that you make it so there's enough of you to go around. [No sound comes out, but the little fellow on the table seems to either be snorting at what Will's just said or playing along with the idea that he is snoring. Either is valid. Will knows the truth.] Very generous of you.

[Better to stay away from people in the first place is right. Especially those from Baltimore. But too late, Jeff's extended a helping hand in Will's time of crisis.

He's part of the pack now, so to speak.]

[This probably counts as guy talk, even if Jeff isn't well versed in it either. He may act like the dudiest bro around and an expert in all things masculine, but Jeff was always the kid who sucked at sports, had no friends and was basically a huge loner nerd. Trying to be an actual 'guy' really only came about in the latter half of his life, and even now he'd just as happily talk about the overpriced facial scrubs he uses or the best place for a beauty session, because real men know that kind of shit.]

Yeah, I'm the gift that just keeps giving. [He replies with the most obvious of eye rolls, briefly sparing a look at Bambi because that little shit better not be mocking, yo.

Whether Will likes it or not, that empty glass of his on the table is getting a refill, and so is Jeff's.]

So it's not wife that's got you upset... [What is it?!]

[Please, God, Will could use something like that even if he doesn't say it out loud. Probably be down to April to get him into the habit of using it but once he's been given the proper training to the new routine, he's an old dog at it.

A muted eye roll is what Jeff gets in return, easily done when it looks like he'd rather just let his head roll right on his shoulder and stay there forever. But for a moment, it appears as though Will is going to do some pufferfish technique, huff out his chest a little and claim that nothing's wrong, he isn't upset. Only...normally, people don't use shadow nightmare stags as ladders, slide into a window as soon as it's open enough for them to fit through, and then sit around drinking booze with a tiny version of that antlered beast totally not mocking on the coffee table. Even by this world's standards, his behavior is noticeably...muddled. Saying otherwise doesn't just put up a wall, but serves as insult to Jeff. Rudeness. No thank you. Not today, Satan.]

I...fucked up with somebody. [Comes out after the world's weariest sigh, though he does not at all hesitate to snatch up that scotch again. Yeah, he's so put upon, free scotch, the worst ever, the world is just out to get him right now.] You ever have those people who know you pretty well, whether you want them to or not, and you get into an argument...they say something about how you're reacting and...

[He waves his glass; by the grace of God, somehow, the side that sloshes all the way to top manages not to slosh over. Being understood on any level is a burden!]

...realize that maybe they're right. So you're the asshole in the situation?

[Will isn't ordinarily the most swear-riddled person, it's true. But he's ordinarily stuck in a line of work that demands a modicum of professionalism, so even if he doesn't shake hands with every crime journalist or play completely nice with all parties involved, he can manage that much. Jeff isn't work and Jeff isn't horribly offended by such foul language; it's refreshing to slip into a "normal" sort of rudeness (via crudeness) from time to time. He's gonna take advantage.]

[He's glad for the honesty, even if not entirely expecting it. Jeff has spent a lifetime coping with and issuing out lies and half truths, only to be forced into normal society later in life and come to the devastating realisation that maybe that's not the best way to make friends. Friends hadn't really been an issue for him in the past and definitely not something he pursued, although the past five years had brought about a change that not only had him enjoying the company of others, but actively trying to keep it. Yes, the tin man had learnt that having friends kind of gave him the warm fuzzies, and just maybe he'd had a heart all along.

So Will telling the truth? (Or what Jeff can only assume is honesty). It's an oddly reassuring feeling.]

You're talking to the guy who's pretty much the asshole in every situation. So yeah, I get it.

[Leaning back into his space thoughtfully, quietly considering Will's words and his own personal experiences. Not being liked sucked. As much as Jeff bickers and throws tantrums, he's still careful to avoid leaving things on a bad note. Will didn't even appear to be the asshole of virtually any situation, but Jeff's witnessed first hand just what can be said when something isn't quite right. It's almost worse coming from the puppy eyed stray dog than it is from some snarling grouch like Jeff. There's something unexpected about it, something more poignant and meaningful.]

How did you leave it?

[He's telling the truth as much as he can. He won't be able to drop names without spinning it in a way that turns back into a lie, so hopefully they can avoid it. But snarling grouches and dogs with eternal puppy eyes can be the best of friends anyone ever imagined, Will has seen that firsthand. The hefty, ugly types being protective (or protected) by the sleek, beautiful breeds that made it difficult to believe anyone would get rid of something that seemed purebred. Expensive. Odd couples weren't just a thing with humans. So Jeff can be the tall, one night stand-loving, grouch next to Will's short, married, perpetually kicked in the soul face without it ever once being an issue, not to Will. Could be handy, even. If Will passes out and has no shadow stag to gallop back to Heropa, Jeff can carry him. Everyone wins!

Until that question, which gets a sigh, one hand running through his hair. Poorly, from the looks of it.]

Not great. We came to an agreement, but...still wasn't great.

[That is more of a sip than anything he's taken so far. He knows how to be moderate! To drink liquor like that's what it is instead of treating it like cream soda on a scorching, sunny day.]

I've never thought you were an asshole, for the record.

[Because Will relates to Jeff on a level that he finds it better if Jeff never, ever becomes aware of as much as because Will Graham? The people he's used to, the ones others would consider assholes...they're way, way, way worse than Jeff. Jeff is the most polite Boy Scout with practically perfect etiquette by comparison.

Will's views are...somewhat skewed. Slightly. But hey. Jeff just got a free pass for not being an asshole from a criminal profiler who psychoanalyzes the littlest things and has made a career out of that. Ego boost? Maybe? If he looks at it in a good light? He didn't even have to take a terribly-formatted Geocities test to hear that he was a gr8 guy!]

Edited 2015-06-28 05:42 (UTC)

[But who is the hefty, ugly type in this scenario, Will?! Hefty and ugly or sleek and pedigree, Jeff would still protect his friends to the bitter end with the same viciousness and stubbornness that he usually only reserves for himself. It's a rare few that get the support of Jeff, but the ones that do have it for life. Or until they really fuck up. Will's done well to side with Jeff, and all by simply being nice to him. It's amazing how a bitter hipster who acts like he hates humanity still wants to cuddle up to the first hand that's offered out for affection. Yes plz, like him, love him, take him home because he's great, right? Isn't he good? Tell him he's good.

Except Will's little comment of support merely gains a scoff from Jeff, resisting an eye roll and totally avoiding displaying any of the internal screaming and joy that might come from such acceptance. It's not like he cares if Will thinks he's nice or not!]

Yeah, whatever. [Too cool for emotions.]

So, 'agreement'? [Half hearted finger quotes that get the drink in one hand sloshing lightly onto the couch.] Did you actually apologize or is this the kind of agreement that comes from two stubborn asses refusing to admit any wrong?

[~Tell Me Something Good About Me~ - Jeff Winger/Will Graham - 1,306 words - Update coming soon!!! r&r plz!

Scoff away, Jeff! That only serves to make Will's assessment of Jeff feel a thousand times more valid. Jeff's never struck him as humble...except when it comes to emotions. The whole world should know that Jeff Winger is a super hot stallion ready for the laydees, and that he's a boss ass lawyer, he's just sp totally awesome. But the world doesn't need to know he's on their level in the way that he also suffers from betrayal or loss, that he feels things other than the more positive (and narcissistic) set of emotions. That he feels a need to belong with someone, somewhere, to connect and share...that he's just like everyone else. No sir, nobody needs to know that, and far be it from Will to be blunter about it all. Better to just look down and think, absorbed in his own negative emotions for a moment.]

I would've looked worse if I apologized. [So the latter, sort of. Will's job is basically "be really really wrong until he's completely right," he is not unfamiliar with being in the wrong, or wrong about people and things. He's not unable to admit when he's fucked up, but when faced with accusations that he's making a person his victim, especially when that person is one of the only two from home he has around? It gets stickier. An apology, however sincere, could have been seen as an attempt at regaining control, or borderline abusive, and hell if he wanted to veer the sinking ship into those murky waters.] Stubborn asses is fitting, though. I just happened to be the bigger ass this time around, I guess.

[Where is a tiny violin for the shadowstag to play when it's needed.]

[The world never needs to know that he's on the same level as them. He doesn't want people to see his weaknesses and vulnerabilities. There would be nothing worse than those being laid out for the world to see, and it's why he's so very careful around his camera crew, and why he gets so easily wound up the second a flaw starts to rear it's head for others to see. Jeff spent the better part of his childhood learning to become an uncaring, egotistical little shit and that's a hard act to drop after so many years of playing it.

He's learnt to at least pretend he cares enough to tolerate Will's presence and sulking and drunken self-pity. But maybe it's not pretend. Maybe he does actually care, and that thought scares him more than any shadow stag or creepy guys at his window ever could.]

So I take it this isn't the first time you and this mystery person has had a falling out. [The 'this time around' gave it away, or at least that's his interpretation of it all.] You must like them, right? Otherwise this wouldn't bother you so much. Do they know how important they are to you? You ever mention that sort of stuff?

[Jeff never does and then he misses what he's lost, all because he refused to discuss feelings.]

[Don't be afraid of caring, Jeff. Will is here to care way more than anyone ever should and be scared while he does so. Whenever the tingle of concern for another human being strikes fear in your heart, just go bug Will. He'll absorb that and have weird nightmares and no one will be any worse for it. What a pal. A scary, carey pal.

But, oh, what a question that is. Slew of questions, really. The furrowed brow Jeff's (accurate) guess draws out morphs as he smiles. An oddly fond smile for another human being who doesn't happen to be April, someone who isn't a talking dog...not the first time he and this mystery person had issues, no, and despite those issues, Will found them a source of stability for all the hassle. Jeff's accuracy doesn't grate or worry, either—he appreciates it. Guy might act like an overgrown frat boy from time to time, but he can't hide that he has a brain in him, too. Will can relate.]

Not in as many words, but we've gone through enough together that they have to realize it. [He took care of the Abel Gideon mess instead of making it worse, doesn't that prove...well, something of his loyalty? He invited him for Easter! He made dinner, he made sure their home was tidier, he let him into his life here! He went back to therapy, doesn't that say everything? Although perhaps that's a bit of Hannibal's hold on him—saying things without being completely direct. Only that leads to ruin. With Will it...shit, well, leads to the same thing, too, perhaps? In this case, at least. And as he says it out loud, he thinks maybe he's putting some of the dish together, the meat within the meat. He looks away from Jeff and back to the drink.] Sounds like that's a big problem, huh? You cracked the case.

[Ha ha, FBI bloodhound humor.]

[Will can care enough for the both of them, because if Jeff cares too much his heart might explode, and then Will would be left trying to explain to the cops why there's a dead guy in a house full of children after Will had snuck in the window with a shadow Bambi.

Anyway, the smiling is slightly weird, but something he can work with. He supposes Will smiling is a thing that's allowed, but in the context of falling out with someone enough to want to get drunk and climb through windows, Jeff would say happiness isn't a thing that should be felt. Unless he really is just that good at uplifting people with his speeches that he now doesn't even have to make the speech in the first place. Maybe a bunch of questions is enough.]

Yup. That's me. Solving all the problems like a good little lawyer. Guess you've got nothing to worry about now, huh? [The smallest of smiles forced in return, almost hopeful like just maybe everything has been fixed and now Will isn't going to be sad any more. Friends make friends happy, right? That's a thing that happens, or so he's been led to believe in the short five years of him actually having friends. In the grand scheme of things it's not a long time, and Jeff's really still in the infantile stages of friendship, the sort of lessons most learn in playgroup where he's just realised that sharing is kind of okay and punching someone in the face to steal their crayons is not acceptable behaviour.]

Maybe tell them you're an asshole too. People love it when you can admit that.

[To be fair, they're good questions. No prying about his mother, his father, what sort of childhood he had in order to make him the stubborn asshole is he today. They prod at his emotions, true, but not in a way that's malicious, insidious. Jeff Winger is not a psychiatrist, either, so that works in his favor. Will had an awesome lawyer after he fired a bunch of duds, too, perhaps that comes into play on some level he doesn't want to think about very much.

Just like he doubts Jeff wants to think very much about what he just said. How Jeff claims to be asshole but later goes onto say that people love a person who can admit that about themselves. Surely that's not tied into anything, not at all. Surely Jeff's attempts at isolation while being willing to admit his terrible flaw as an asshole aren't in direct conflict with each other. Surely Jeff isn't subtly hinting that while he might act like he's 100% okay playing the lone wolf game, he really does feel the urge to be loved. That he's human.

Not Jeff Winger. And in the case of Will Graham, who reads between the lines too much sometimes not enough at others...he files this away without bringing it to light.]

I can do that. Maybe in different wording, but...you're right. [He is slowly becoming one with Jeff's couch. Leave him here, he's fine.] Thanks for [opening the window, letting him in (in more ways than one), listening, caring? Oh no.] everything.

[It's definitely for the best that Will keeps his mouth shut on the whole situation he's read into this. Jeff's spent a lifetime building walls and learning to live alone and work alone and depend on his self. The fact that even he craves affection and attention just like the rest of humanity shouldn't factor into it. He wants to be loved, sure, but he doesn't want people picking up on that fact. If people like Will start dredging up his deep, dark desires, then surely it means his bitter, asshole hipster act is all pointless? It doesn't bear thinking about. Best to just keep with the totally cool and not in need of friends act and just hope no one catches on.

Will knows how to keep Jeff happy though, and he even drags a smile from him at the simple words 'you're right'. Yeah. Of course Jeff is right. He's always right. He makes a career out of being right even when he's completely wrong.]

Just drink your scotch and never mention it again. [OR ELSE. Mention of his kindness can never be spoken about. Although just quickly...] You can sleep on the couch. If you want.

[OR ELSE.

Will shifts enough to withdraw his communicator and slide it onto the coffee table. His movements are a bit slower than usual, thanks to the scotch, but it's his silent agreement that yes. He will accept this offer. He will crash his adorable Teddy Graham self on Jeff's couch, thank you kindly. Perhaps Jeff will wake up to find Will still knocked out on it. Perhaps he'll wake up to find him gone and the spot cleaned up like no one had sat on it in days. Could go either way. But if Jeff finds him making any dumb faces or decides to cover his face with dicks ejaculating in his nostrils, there is Will's communicator. He better send April some pics of her husband covered in dicks, Goddamnit.]

You got it.

[Pint-sized terror Bambi takes one last look at Jeff before Will's shadow attaches to him once more, doing his best to keep a smile off his face and his eyes off Jeff. Just gonna down his scotch, eventually kick his shoes off, and sleep over like the wayward cousin who can't go home right now, come on, one night, guys please.]

[Jeff's oddly okay with this loveable hobo crashing at his place, because that warm fuzzy and ridiculously gross feeling of friendship is forming. Friends are people you accept for who they are, and they're people you let crash on your couch even if they dragged themselves through your window and got drunk and woeful. This is something that normal people do for one another and Jeff is all for pretending to be normal, even if it's just for one night.]

There's food if you need it. [Vague gesture to a tiny fridge in the corner where he keeps the essentials rather than stash them in the public area. It's mostly full of veggies, fruits and eggs, but Will might be able to dig up something else if he gets the need for breakfast in the morning.

But now is a time for shutting down and sleeping, and if Will wants to curl up on the couch, Jeff's quite happy to retreat to his bed nearby, even if he will stay up half the night on his communicator. And maybe taking some comical photos of a snoozing Will. And maybe, just maybe, throw the poor guy a blanket before the night is through.

Such bros. Much sleep. Many snores.]

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