IC CONTACT

[ferrisbuellean]

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Comments

[kingpawn]

No, no. I just didn't know if you were taking on cases.

Or what kind of cases you would take on.

Or if what I came to you about would even be something you could pull off.

[ Jeff is probably not a criminal lawyer. But he's the slimiest they got right now. And Walt means that in the most affectionate of ways. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[The sign of a good defense attorney is one who can be a huge sleaze. Fact.]

I'm taking on cases. All kinds of cases. Used to specialise in drink and drug crimes, but I got the knowledge for most things.

You got some pharmaceutical issues, Walt?

[kingpawn]

[ He supposes you could say that, Jeff. In a way. It's all pharmaceuticals if you squint at it from a distance. ]

I need a house. A house where all the paper trails and evidence linking it to me has disappeared.

[ A safehouse. If you're catching the drift here, Jeff. ]

I have more than enough money in cash. If you can make this happen -- you have my business.

[ferrisbuellean]

[He's catching your drift. So much drift.

But there's a pause on his end, less hesitating and more thoughtful, with just a dash of ohfuckshitpapertrailsandmathfuck. Dyslexic, slacker lawyer problems.]

I can make it happen.

[Confidence is key, even if he has no fucking clue just how he can make it happen right now.]

It'll take a bit of time to set up- [And research.] -but I can do it.

I would warn you that something like this is gonna cost you, fees and all, but... kinda sounds like you already know that.

[kingpawn]

How does a ten thousand dollar deposit sound for your troubles? With more on the way if you manage it.

[ Walt just kind of has money sitting around. It's hidden in his closet. Under his bed. In his drawers. Used as paperweights. He's running out of places. You're doing him a favor, bro. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

[Internal screaming.]

Ten K up front, percentage after that.

I'll uh, I'll have to get back to you on actual numbers.

[Omg yes, give him all your money. He has so many things to buy, most of which involve expensive clothing, beauty products and haircuts.]

[kingpawn]

[ Jeff can have Abduxel's share! ]

Deal. And if at all possible, I'd prefer something out west.

[ferrisbuellean]

[Fine with anyone's share so long as its money.]

West as in West coast? Or west Maurtia Falls?

[kingpawn]

West coast. I lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico back home. Call me a little homesick.

That and I want something outside of the imPort cities.

[ferrisbuellean]

Probably not quite how you remember it though, huh?

[kingpawn]

I have yet to visit, so I couldn't say. But even if it is, there are some things about New Mexico that I'm sure carry over throughout any universe.

[ferrisbuellean]

There's not much they could change about New Mexico for better or for worse. [Pause.]

No offence. I mean, I'm from Colorado and I know without seeing it that there's gonna be no improvement to a state like that.

[Nice save, right?!]

So you looking to keep it, right? I mean rent gives more avenue for cash flow but... I mean there's always advantages to having an 'empty' house too.

[kingpawn]

No offense taken. I'm sure the same could be said for a lot of these US states. Though Alabama might be improved. What with having Disney there.

[ A pause. ]

I want to keep it, yes. I want it to be the type of property I can disappear in for a while. If, you know, I'm ever feeling antisocial.

[ Or on the run from the cops. Or on the run from Chilton and his retaliation. ]

[ferrisbuellean]

Untraceable property, got it. That's one way to avoid the in-laws, huh? [Awkward joke times.]

Look, uh. It shouldn't be too hard. I got a few guys who know a few guys, but connections take time. Trust takes even longer. [And while Jeff might be able to charm a whole bunch of contacts in an instant, he still needs to work out who squeals and who stays steadfast, and who knows what the fuck they're actually doing. Maurtia Falls is full of way too many small time crooks which are good for easy money but useless at everything else.]

[kingpawn]

It's fine. Take as long as you need. I just want the property on hand, but don't need it at the current moment.

Remember, the more secluded -- the better. And it would also be best if it's off the grid.

[ferrisbuellean]

Off grid, secluded. [Is he writing this down? Probably not.]

Give me a week. If it's not done in a week I'll let you know the score. We're a long way from home, whole different kinda ball game when it comes to this stuff...

Just. Yeah. A week.

[kingpawn]

I'll anticipate your call.

Thanks, Jeff. I believe this may be the start of a very lucrative future for you.

[textualhealing]

[Lucrative future? Music to his ears. If he can't get this done then he might as well give up now. GET IT TOGETHER AND WIN THIS THING, JEFF.

Hanging up now kthx so he can get in touch with some of his native clients.]